Hi

I can't sleep during this time recently ,clock shows 1:25am. I am too worry about my exams.
Counting down day by day , exam is around the corner . I always remind myself since I am choosing this path, I have no others choices so have to try my best and achieve myself target , at least 3.83 minimum, as what I have promised in front of all the form 6 teachers during audit academic weeks ago. Teachers are giving motivation every week personally ,  it a bit sounds like stress where it  keep forcing me to study study and study . I don't wish to let them down and my parents .But sometimes I'm too lazy about it when I have a lot of homework to complete thus I skip that day revision planned.
    So I try to control my tears every time I got my topical tests or small tests results,but it failed when I found my self did more and more mistakes when exams is nearer, I lost my confident especially PA, when Iooking I got only 12/25  in essay ,I felt pissed off and the tears started  rolling.

Dad and mum are everything.Since mum discharged 3weeks ago my dad looks older, he has to sent mum to work every morning , take mum to hospital for blood test and check up and busy with his own works.Last Sunday , he found his fingertips and palm suddenly turned blacked and we were worrying about the heart diseases.The next day he went to pantai hospital for check up luckily there is no problem.How about mum , doctor said her strok happened in the part of memorize and this will insult her memorizing ability.so sometimes when she is nervous , she can't speak out the words that she is thinking. I worry about their health conditions , every time when I depressed with these, I cried alone in the midnight.I  can't share these thoughts with my brothers because I don't want to burden them and I know they worry also.

 I'm learning to be a tough girl , I know I'm strong enough to independent.